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| Executive Coaching, Spirituality, and Conflict Management |
By Santi Chacon
Executive Coach
The Altar Illusion
Jesus: So if when you are offering your gift at the altar you there remember that your brother has any [grievance] against you, leave your gift at the altar and go. First make peace with your brother, and then come back and present your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way traveling with him, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last fraction of a penny.
The Third Attitudinal Principle: Attitude Toward Terms
Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way traveling with him...
Jesus reminds us that regardless of how good our intentions are we will face accusations from those we have opened our lives to. He suggests that we come to 'terms'. Terms have a different meaning to Jesus then they do most of us. To us coming to terms means negotiating, compromise, or giving in. To God coming to terms is call toward strength in humility.
The Holy Spirit asks us to rest in God's certainty, regardless of how frightened we may feel to give up our ego attachment and to embrace his terms (love).
His Terms
Jesus: If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.
Suppose a brother insists on having you do something you think you do not want to do. His very insistence should tell you that he believes salvation lies in it. If you insist on refusing and experience a quick response of opposition, you are believing that your salvation lies in not doing it. You, then, are making the same mistake he is, and are making his error real to both of you. Insistence means investment, and what you invest in is always related to your notion of salvation. The question is always twofold; first, what is to be saved? And second, how can it be saved?
Whenever you become angry with a brother, for whatever reason, you are believing that the ego is to be saved, and to be saved by attack. If he attacks, you are agreeing with this belief; and if you attack, you are reinforcing it. Remember that those who attack are poor. Their poverty asks for gifts, not for further impoverishment. You who could help them are surely acting destructively if you accept their poverty as yours. If you had not invested as they had, it would never occur to you to overlook their need.
Recognise what does not matter, and if your brothers ask you for something 'outrageous', do it because it does not matter. Refuse, and your opposition establishes that it does matter to you. It is only you, therefore, who have made the request outrageous, and every request of a brother is for you. Why would you insist in denying him? For to do so is to deny yourself and impoverish both. He is asking for salvation, as you are. Poverty is of the ego, and never of God. No 'outrageous' requests can be made of one who recognises what is valuable and wants to accept nothing else.
-ACIM
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